Mom guilt is a weight many mothers carry, a constant companion on the journey of raising children. It stems from the love and high expectations we have for ourselves as parents. When challenges arise—like dealing with disrespectful behavior from your child—it can feel overwhelming. Lately, I have noticed that Troy, our youngest, has been acting out. Troy has autism so his behaviour is always a bit challenging from time to time. The disrespect stings, and in moments of frustration, you may find yourself reacting in ways that leave you feeling guilty afterward. I am exhausted after working with kids all day and it is beginning to show in my parenting, being a burnt out mom is not fun.
In today’s digital world, technology and online games often add another layer of stress to parenting. The allure of screens can turn even the most polite child into someone unrecognizable at times. It’s not uncommon to feel like technology is pulling families apart, creating tension instead of fostering connection. But with some deliberate strategies, it’s possible to cut back on electronics, nurture healthier habits, and create a more positive family dynamic. It is so easy to just allow them to sit and stare into the void of the video game world and give you some peace but now it is becoming a problem.
Understanding Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is often fueled by a desire to be everything to everyone in your family. But it’s important to remember that no one is a perfect parent—and children, like adults, have difficult moments. Feeling guilty when I get upset with Troy is natural, but it’s also an opportunity for reflection and growth. What matters most is how I choose to respond and move forward. I need to start making it a priority to spend time with him away from screens. Trying to navigate parenting is challenging for everyone but there has to be ways to make it easier and enjoyable for all of us.
Why Technology Can Contribute to Disrespect
Technology, while a valuable tool, can create challenges in parenting. Excessive screen time and online gaming may:
• Impact emotional regulation: Games with high-intensity stimulation can lead to mood swings and shorter tempers.
• Create social disconnect: Too much screen time can interfere with a child’s ability to interact respectfully and empathetically with others.
• Reduce family bonding: When screens dominate free time, opportunities for connection and communication shrink.
If you’re feeling like screens are turning your kids into “monsters,” it’s time to make a change. Reducing reliance on technology can help improve respect and strengthen family bonds.
Strategies to Cut Back on Electronics and Foster Respect
Here’s how to set healthier boundaries around screen time and build a more harmonious household:
1. Establish Screen-Free Zones
Make certain areas of the home, such as the dinner table or bedrooms, completely screen-free. This encourages face-to-face interactions and creates opportunities for meaningful conversations.
2. Create a Family Media Plan
Work together as a family to set guidelines for when and how screens can be used. For example, no gaming before homework is finished, or limiting screen time to an hour or two daily.
3. Introduce Offline Activities
Replace gaming time with engaging offline activities, such as board games, reading, or creative projects. Find something that Troy enjoys that doesn’t involve a screen.
4. Model Balanced Technology Use
Children often imitate their parents. If you want Troy to cut back on screens, show him what that looks like by setting your own limits and spending time on non-digital activities.
5. Encourage Outdoor Play
Plan outdoor family activities like hiking, playing sports, or simply going to the park. Physical activity can improve mood and behaviour while reducing the allure of screens.
6. Communicate About Respect
Have a calm conversation with Troy about his behavior. Let him know how his words and actions affect you and the family. Encourage him to express himself respectfully and brainstorm ways to do so together.
7. Use Technology as a Privilege
Treat screen time as a reward rather than a given. Tie it to positive behaviour or responsibilities, such as completing chores or showing respect.
8. Unplug Together
Schedule regular family nights where everyone unplugs and spends quality time together. This could involve cooking a meal, watching a movie, or simply talking.
9. Seek Professional Guidance
If disrespectful behavior persists, it may be helpful to consult a family counselor or child psychologist. They can offer tools to address underlying issues and improve communication.
10. Practice Self-Compassion
Finally, remember to be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard work, and you’re doing your best. Guilt can be a powerful emotion, but it can also motivate you to take steps toward a happier, healthier family dynamic.
Moving Forward
It’s okay to feel upset when Troy’s behavior is challenging, and it’s okay to feel guilty afterward—it shows that I care deeply. By taking steps to reduce screen time and nurture respect in your home, I plan on setting the stage for a stronger, more connected family. The key is to approach these changes with patience and consistency. I know I’m not alone in this journey, and every small step I take is a step in the right direction.
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