Whether
you’re in a couple or rolling solo, Valentine’s Day comes with
expectation and pressure. With #CoupleGoals as a consistently trending
hashtag, countless pictures of couples on social media, the obsession of
celebrity break ups and make ups and TV shows like the Bachelor and
Bachelorette serving up contrived romance sprinkled with drama, the way
we think of love and romance has changed. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York
Board Certified Neuropsychologist explains why so many people say ‘no
way’ to Valentine’s Day and offers some alternatives that shift this
negative mindset.
1. “Valentine’s Day is a ‘Hallmark Holiday’ and I’m still broke from Christmas.”
When money
is tight many people may want to cut back on spending especially for
things they feel are frivolous. “Financial stress is a common thing and
when people are made to feel pressured to spend, they get resentful and
want to claim their power,” explains Dr. Hafeez. Instead of boycotting
all romance, put a $20 maximum on gifts and you’ll see how sweet,
thoughtful and creative you can get.
2. “Every restaurant is crowded and the service is terrible.”
Nothing
kills romance faster than crowds and a bad experience dining out. Since
everyone goes out to eat on Valentine’s Day there will be a lapse in
service. “One way for couples to celebrate is to call their favorite
restaurant in advance and have a meal prepared they can pick up and heat
up at home,” suggests Dr. Hafeez. “You can either break out the fancy
dishes and dress up or you can put on sweats and eat while watching a
movie, the important thing is that you enjoy yourselves and aren’t
stressed,” she adds.
3. “We’ve been together for ages. Every day is Valentine’s Day! Do we really need to celebrate?”
“Celebrations
and traditions are important in a relationship and when they fall away
it’s usually a sign of trouble and disconnection. While you may not feel
the need to do anything extravagant use the day to appreciate the love
you have and life you’ve created, even if it’s in a small way,” Hafeez
advises.
4. “I’m single so what’s the point?”
Rolling
solo on Valentine’s Day again, all the more reason to turn it into a
Self Love Day. Being single on Valentine’s Day can be tough for people,
especially those still healing from a break up or divorce. “You want to
really be kind and caring to yourself. Booking a massage, getting a
haircut, or arranging a single ladies night with your single friends
could be just what’s needed. Focus on creating your own happiness,” says
Dr. Hafeez who often sees a link between break up depression and
anxiety over holidays.
5. “I’m just to busy for love and romance and all that stuff.”
Some
people are just focused on other things that are top priority in their
lives. There are plenty of women who are turned on more by generating
income for their businesses than concerning themselves with outside
approval or validation. There has been a rise in female entrepreneurship
with more millenials and Gen X’ers preferring to build empires than
romantic relationships. For them it’s just February 14th the
mid way point to a short month. “There’s nothing wrong with women
wanting to focus on their professional lives. They often feel to focus
on business, romance, which may cause them to lose focus, has to be
shelved for a while, this is more common these days,” Dr. Hafeez shares.
While many say ‘no way’ to Valentine’s Day there are millions saying I DO.
According
to a 2017 survey of 1000 people done by James Allen, an online diamond
and bridal jewelry retailer, 43 percent of millennials say Valentines
Day is their top pick for proposal day. November – February is
considered proposal season.
Some other mind-blowing stats that clearly show Cupid isn’t going away anytime soon are.
In 2017, the National Retail Federation put the estimated total spending at over $18.2 billion. That's an average of $136.57 per person.
Jewelry is the most popular gift with 20 percent of consumers expected to buy jewelry, with a total of $4.3 billion on bling, the NRF said.
$2 billion will be spent on flowers, with roses being most popular. 250 million roses are produced for the holiday, the Society of American Florists said.
The American Greeting Card Association puts that industries pay out at 1 BILLION… yes folks $1 … for paper.
You may want to read this great article about Frugal Romantic Finds just in time for Valentine’s Day!
Try giving out green gifts this year if you decide to participate! Like these adorable growable and eatable cards!
About Dr. Sanam Hafeez:
Dr.
Sanam Hafeez PsyD is a NYC based licensed clinical neuropsychologist,
teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s
College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive
Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. a neuropsychological,
developmental and educational center in Manhattan and Queens.
Dr. Hafeez masterfully
applies her years of experience connecting psychological implications
to address some of today’s common issues such as body image, social
media addiction, relationships, workplace stress, parenting
and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc…).
In addition, Dr. Hafeez works with individuals who suffer from post
traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning disabilities, attention and
memory problems, and abuse. Dr. Hafeez often shares her credible
expertise to various news outlets in New York City and frequently
appears on CNN and Dr.Oz.
Connect with her via twitter @comprehendMind or www
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