While the start of a new school year comes with
excitement for kids, it also comes with stress. It’s common for kids to
feel overwhelmed this time of year especially as they navigate the
challenges that crop up with a new school year. This stress can manifest
itself in stomach aches, headaches, loss of appetite, even depression.
Here are 5 common top back to school stressors and how parents can help
their kids to bust them.
1. Facing the bully.
For kids who are bullied, summer break also means a break
from the relentless verbal and at times physical abuse that can be
crushing to a kid’s self-worth. Oftentimes kids won’t tell parents that
they are being bullied because they are embarrassed or fear telling
school administrators will only escalate the bullying. As the school
start date approaches, pay attention to your kid’s anxiety level.
Communicate and ask them what they are looking forward to this school
year. Ask them who are they most excited to see when they return to
school. Listen for any negativity and seek to understand where it comes
from. Ask if they ever witnessed bullying and what they would do if they
did. If your child reveals that they don’t want to see a certain group
of kids ask why and get as much information as you can. You want to show
your kid that they have your support without judgement.
2. Extra work!
Kids who once did great may enter the new year and feel
overwhelmed with the additional school work. Perhaps they aren’t
grasping the material as quickly as they once did. This is common
especially in math at the junior high level. Once parents can no longer
help kids with homework, they may want to invest in tutoring. Before
selecting a tutor it’s wise to have your child be evaluated to get
clarity on how they learn best. Some kids are visual learners making a
math tutor who helps the student to “see” how the equations play out in
visual analogy are tremendously helpful. Another solution that can
benefit the whole family is hiring a time management or accountability
coach to help the entire family to manage schedules effectively.
3. Tuition bills.
With the skyrocketing cost of education, many kids listen
to parents discussing the stress they feel about college tuition and
then take on that stress themselves. Money is a stressful topic because
it is usually never spoken about openly and honestly. Some students may
wonder if college is even a right option for them but fear voicing this
opinion. Many feel that higher education leaves them ill prepared for
“the real world.” Many parents and kids question the value of the
six-figure tuition price tag. There has been a slow shift away from
traditional education in favor of entrepreneurship. Perhaps an
internship at a small business a few days per week after school can
provide them with more hands-on experience on a path that truly
interests them and can be even more lucrative. Showing your kids there
are many ways to achieve success, presents options they may not have
ever known existed.
4. The unknown.
Whether your child is starting school for the first time
or entering junior high, high school or even college; anxiety is common
when we are uncertain. Anxiety doesn’t discriminate and older kids get
anxious about the unknown just the same as the younger kids do. It’s
common for small children to have separation anxiety at the start of
school and for homesickness to strike college freshman living away for
the first time. Touring the school, getting to know teachers in advance,
and getting as much information beforehand helps kids to mentally
prepare for what they can expect.
5. Social status and drama.
The return to school comes with the return to more kids
and more social drama. Usually in the summer, kids stick to their
immediate group of best friends. During the school year, they are forced
to get along with everyone. The gossip and constant pressure to fit in
can cause anxiety. Simple things like choosing clothing, hairstyle and
over all appearance can cause a lot of pressure. Teens especially are
trying to get a handle on body image and are often feel anxious about
being judged by other kids. It’s important to be supportive and
understanding while reaffirming your child’s strengths and larger goals.
When your kids are busy focused on what they want to achieve and what
they enjoy doing, they’re less likely to have time to concern themselves
with the opinions of others.
About the expert:
Dr.
Sanam Hafeez PsyD is a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist,
teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s
College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive
Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. a neuropsychological,
developmental and educational center in Manhattan and Queens.
Dr.
Hafeez masterfully applies her years of experience connecting
psychological implications to address some of today’s common issues such
as body image, social media addiction, relationships, workplace stress,
parenting and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression,
anxiety, etc…). In addition, Dr. Hafeez works with individuals who
suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning
disabilities, attention and memory problems, and abuse. Dr. Hafeez often
shares her credible expertise to various news outlets in New York City
and frequently appears on CNN and Dr.Oz.
Connect with her via twitter @comprehendMind or www
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