Singing the Holiday Blues?
Neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez Offers Tips to Help Cope
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But
sadly, not for everyone. Whether it’s dealing with loss, getting over
an addiction, being new in town, helping children post-divorce or caring
for a senior citizen, Dr. Hafeez has suggestions to help make the holidays a bit easier to navigate.
For the newly divorced or widowed:
Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time
of the year. However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is
joyful and giddy with holiday cheer. “Don’t be so hard on yourself by
trying to minimize your pain,” advises Dr. Hafeez. Allow
yourself to grieve – it’s only natural. She also suggests reaching out
to family and friends and joining a grief or support group. Surrounding
yourself with loved ones or others going through the same experience
will help you feel less lonely. To find a grief group in your area: http://www.griefshare.org/find agroup
Dr. Hafeez is an advocate for
volunteering. Helping those less fortunate can give you a sense of love
and pride, while immersing yourself in the true spirit of the holidays,
in the hopes of lifting your own. Lastly, Dr. Hafeez says to
“be good to yourself. Take a long bath, read a good book, get a
massage. Do something that you love to do and makes you feel good.
Neglecting yourself will only make you feel worse.”
For those who are new in town - A Meetup
Group is a local community of people. A Meetup Group hosts Meetups,
which are face to face meetings that happen in real life between members
and organizers. They can range from anything from “a new in town” group
to yoga groups, restaurant groups, you name it, there is a “meet up”
for every hobby. On the Find a Meetup Group page, you'll be able to see
the location, description, and topics of Meetup Groups. You can also
browse individual Meetups within all the groups in your area. www.meetup.com
Seasonal Affect Disorder- A light box
mimics outdoor light. Researchers believe this type of light causes a
chemical change in the brain that lifts your mood and eases other
symptoms of SAD. Most people use light boxes for a minimum of 30 minutes
each morning.
You can buy a light box over the counter, or
your doctor may recommend a specific light box. Light boxes, available
from stores and Internet retailers, come in different shapes and sizes
and have varied features. They also produce different types and
intensities of light. Light boxes are designed to be safe and effective,
but they aren't approved or regulated by the Food and Drug
Administration (FDA), so it's important to understand your options.
Depression? There’s an App for that.
More people commit suicide during the holidays than at any other time of
the year. Unfortunately for people who are under the care of a
psychologist, it is very likely their treatment will be interrupted over
the holidays due to vacationing doctors. Thankfully, there are many
excellent apps for Android and Smart Phones. Some top apps are: Health
Through Breath, Secret of Happiness, Depression CBT Self Help Guide,
NIH Depression Info, and Fitness Builder.
For the caretaker of a senior citizen:
Don’t forget that elderly people tire easily
and can be vulnerable to over-stimulation. “Limit the number of
activities for these people and schedule time for a nap if you are
traveling or take them home when they become exhausted,” says Dr. Hafeez.
Offer to cook for them at your home or help to cook at theirs. While
older people may no longer be self-sufficient in the kitchen, there is
no reason why they can’t help. Dr. Hafeez says “including them
in the meal preparation is a great way for them to feel involved in the
holidays, without putting them in any danger.” And if you are gathering
in a place that is unfamiliar, make sure to remove slippery throw rugs
and other items that could present a problem to one who has balance
problems or difficulty walking.
For the parent dealing with post-divorce children:
Dr. Hafeez suggests that, “one parent
may just have to be the ‘bigger’ one and give in for the sake of the
kids,” when there is a dispute taking place. Whether it’s over the
holiday schedule or bedtime after a party, the kids feel the stress.
Also, Dr. Hafeez advises to try to collaborate with your former
spouse over presents, so there is no competition over who gives the best
gifts. “And never undermine the other parent. If he or she says they
aren’t allowed to have something, don’t buy it! Be an adult,” says Dr. Hafeez.
For the recovering alcoholic:
Recovering from addiction is hard. Period.
But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and
family drinking everything from eggnog to champagne. “Be prepared for what you may face, before going to a party,” advises Dr. Hafeez.
She suggests an answer like “I’m choosing not to drink today,” or “I’ve
decided to be the designated driver,” should get people off your back.
Dr. Hafeez, also offers this advice if
you are traveling over the holidays. “Traveling often takes you to
places where drinking can be encouraged, such as airports, planes and
hotel bars.” Prepare yourself ahead of time by reminding yourself over
and over that these settings may make you uncomfortable, but you don’t
have a drink to make yourself feel more comfortable. If you have to,
make yourself a note in your phone and read it to yourself if you’re
starting to feel vulnerable.
While this year may not be the happiest and
easiest of holidays, remind yourself that next year will be better.
“Looking forward, not back, is the best way to embrace the future on a
positive note,” says Dr. Hafeez.
Sanam Hafeez Psy.D
New York State Licensed Neuropsychologist and School Psychologist
Dr. Sanam Hafeez is a New York City based Neuro-psychologist and School Psychologist. She is also the founder and director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. She is currently a teaching faculty member at Columbia University. Click here to see Dr. Hafeez on Dr.Oz: http://www.doctoroz.com/episod e/do-smart-drugs-work-we-test- them-so-you-don-t-have?video_i d=4518086514001
Dr.
Hafeez graduated from Queens College, CUNY with a BA in psychology.
She then went on to earn her Master of Science in Psychology at Hofstra
University. Following that she stayed at Hofstra to receive her Doctor
of Psychology (Psy.D.) She later completed her post-doctoral training in
Neuropsychology and Developmental Pediatrics at Coney Island Hospital.
Dr.
Hafeez’s provides neuropsychological educational and developmental
evaluations in her practice. She also works with children and adults
who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning
disabilities, autism, attention and memory problems, trauma and brain
injury, abuse, childhood development and psychopathology (bipolar,
schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc…) In addition, Dr. Hafeez serves
as a medical expert and expert witness by providing full evaluations
and witness testimony to law firms and courts.
Dr.
Hafeez immigrated to the United States from Pakistan when she was
twelve years old. She is fluent in English, Urdu, Hindi and Punjabi
(Pakistani and Indian languages.) She resides in Queens, New York with
her husband and twin boys.
Honors and Publications:
April 2013 Main Speaker at Learning Disabilities Awareness Conference, New York City at Baruch College, CUNY
“Evaluating and Accommodating Students with
Disabilities”
June 2008 Appointment to the New York City 18-B panel Assigned Counsel Plan
January 2008 CUNY Proficiency Exam Waiver Position Paper
Commissioned by CUNY to advocate for the Learning Disabled population and the bias of the CUNY Assessment.
Research based paper presented to the Board of CUNY Student Disabilities to waive requirement.
1998-2000 Doctoral Fellowship, Hofstra University
*Awarded a stipend in exchange for a research assistant position with core faculty member
Clinical Experience:
Director and Founder February 2003-Present
Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services
- Provide quality monolingual and bilingual psychological, educational, neuropsychological and speech and language evaluations
- Early Intervention, Pre-School and School Age Special Education Services
- Awarded a competitive contract through bidding with the New York City Department of Education (NYC DOE)
- Awarded an assessment and interpreting contract with Putnam-Westchester BOCES
- Provide evaluations and services to college level students with educational disabilities
- Also provide occupational and physical therapy evaluations as well as therapeutic services in all areas.
- Contract with school district and various agencies to provide evaluations and related services
- Provide neuropsychological, psychological and forensic evaluations for legal purposes to individuals, law firms, agencies and courts
Teaching Experience:
Faculty Appointment September 2011-Present
Columbia University, Teacher’s College, New York, NY
PhD program in Psychology
- Instruction of neuropsychological and cognitive testing measures (SB-5, WJ-III, WISC-IV, etc)
- Supervision and training of graduate students for clinical testing at university clinic
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